9 Writing Lessons From Jaws

I already miss Shark Week. Seven days of sharks just isn't enough. So, I re-watched Jaws recently, and found that besides the entertainment value, it offers some good tips for writers.

There's plenty of wisdom in the movie, but here are nine lessons I found that apply to the writing life:

1. You're gonna need a bigger boat.
Writing can be a lonely journey. We do work in isolation most of the time, but it's much easier and much more pleasant with a support system. Find a group of local writers and/or online groups to network with. It's no fun to celebrate your good news or weather a storm all alone in your little boat. Have a community of writers to help you along the voyage.

Shark hunter Quint insisted his small boat was just
fine, and even wanted to shun any help and go
completely alone. And how did that work out, Quint? Oh, right, you can't answer that. You know, since the shark wrecked your boat and ate you. And great idea, smashing the radio to isolate yourself even more when you needed help.

Remember too that being in a writers' community is a reciprocal relationship; help out your friends when they need you. Don’t lie there drunk on the beach when they're getting mauled by a shark, you big jerk.

2. Sometimes subtle is better.
This bit of wisdom could also be called "Sometimes mistakes work out for the best." During the making of the movie, Bruce the mechanical shark wasn't cooperating. Steven Spielberg decided to use the ominous music to indicate the shark was nearby. That anticipation, the knowing what was coming without seeing it, turned out to be much more compelling than showing the actual shark approaching and attacking. Weaving in some foreshadowing or a hint that something's wrong lets that sense of foreboding creep in, and gives your story more suspense. Much more so than punching the reader in the face with horror. Or biting them in the face, as the case may be.

3. Have a plan, even if it's a rough one.
If you're like me, you prefer to see your story's plot unfold as you write it, rather than plotting it all out first. But it helps to have some idea where it's going. You can think about a few turning points in your story and where your character will end up and how they'll change, yet still have the freedom to figure out the details as you write.

Remember the guys who tried to catch the shark by tossing a roast into the water and chaining it to the dock? The dock they were standing on? Having no plan at all and no structure to hold on to can lead to everything falling apart beneath you. Chief Brody's team didn't know exactly how they'd catch the shark, but they had a boat, some weapons, and piano wire fishing line.

4. Chum the waters.

It seems obvious, but tell a good story that grab the readers’s attention. When Quint told the guys about his war experience in the torpedoed submarine, they hardly blinked, they were so fascinated. The details and the way the narrative unfolded pulled the listeners in, gave them some good suspense while they waited for what would happen, and didn’t let go till the end. Keep your readers intrigued and wanting more, so they can't help but turn the page to find out what will happen next.

5. Don't bite off more than you can chew, or anything that will explode in your face.
Be careful about overcommitting yourself. To make writing a priority, other things might have to slide. Only you can figure out what to take on and what to turn down, but it'll be up to you to schedule your writing time, or it'll end up being last on your list after you take care of everything and everyone else. Some people are good at taking advantage of small chunks of time throughout the day, while others need a larger block of time all at once.

And a note about explodey things. We know the shark met its (un)timely death via pressurized SCUBA tank. As long as we have the Internet, there will be people who enjoy annoying people. And they'll try to reel you in. Maybe they hated your book so much they feel compelled to email you and tell you about it. Or send you tweets about it. Or maybe they just enjoy arguing with anyone who will listen. So don't. Don't take the bait, don't bite down on the pressurized tank. 'Cause that just gets messy. Save yourself. Swim away.

When things are especially bad, lay low and emerge when the biting's done

6. Know when to call Richard Dreyfuss.
Chief Brody started reading a lot about sharks after those first attacks on the beach, but he knew that wasn't enough. After doing his own research, he called in a shark expert.

I don't know how many books and online resources I read about India, elephants, and Burma while writing CHAINED, but the best research I did was talking to people who've lived in those countries and to elephant experts. I learned things from their personal experiences that I never would have picked up from books or a website. Learn all you can about whatever you need to know for your book, but contact experts when you need to know more, or to check your facts. Reading on your own will help you figure out what questions to ask, but you can learn more from people who’ve lived in the world you’re writing about than you will by only reading. People are generally more than happy to talk about their passions, and if someone's writing about them, they want it to be authentic.

7. You'll get there faster if you don't hurry.
Quint, who was stubborn enough to insist his boat was adequate for catching the shark, also ran the engine too hard when the other men were warning him to slow down. It wasn't enough just to ignore their advice; he ran the boat even faster, until it finally broke down. His obsession with achieving his goal made him blind to common sense and good advice.

Writing a good book takes time. Getting published takes more time. Rushing into the publishing world, sending a manuscript too early, querying agents as soon as your first draft is fresh off the printer, will just leave you in a cloud of black smoke, adrift in your broken-down little boat. Take the time you need to write the awesomest book you can, then have it critiqued by writers you trust to give you honest feedback. Then revise it, and revise it again. And again, until you're at the point where you can't think of anything else to do to make the story better. Before you send it out, do your research to find reputable agents or editors who are interested in acquiring the kind of book you've written.

8. Have something to cling to when your boat sinks.
Most authors don't rely only on writing as their only income. Don't quit your "day job" because you want to stay home and work on your novel. I mentioned that a great book takes time to write, and once that's finished, the query and manuscript submission process can take anywhere from a couple of months to forever-ish. Hopefully your book is fabulous and will sell to a publisher for a hefty advance, but even if that does happen, it'll be a while before you see any of the money. Some of your advance will come few months after the sale, more after your edits are done, and maybe the last of it when the book is released, generally 18 months to two years after the sale. Not many people can survive that long between paychecks. (My idea-to-publication journey took six years, and that's not at all unusual).

When the Orca was in tatters at the end of the movie, our heroes didn't drown. They each grabbed on to a yellow barrel and stayed afloat.


9. Celebrate with maniacal laughter after a success.
...Or whatever else you'd like to do to celebrate. Of course you'll celebrate the book deal, but remember the smaller steps along the way too. Finishing a new draft, getting a request from an agent, catching an editor's interest--all of that gets you closer to your blowing-up-the-shark moment. Enjoy a nice dinner out, take a break to read a book, or buy a little gift to reward yourself.

I'm sure there are more writing lessons and/or life lessons in the movie, so let me know what others you think of.

So this tides you over till the next Shark Week, right?

I know, nothing comes close to Shark Week. But you didn't do much writing that week, did you?

Happy World Elephant Day!

Yes, it's World Elephant Day, the day where all good little elephants wake up to find presents under their trees and apples in their baskets. Or something like that.



However they celebrate, we can stop by The World Elephant Day website and watch the new documentary, Return to the Forest, about efforts in Thailand to re-introduce elephants to the wild after captivity. Here's the trailer:



And if that wasn't enough to entice you, it's narrated by William Shatner.

To continue the party, here are a few more of my favorite elephant stories found online:

Rajan the elephant retires after thirty years of working as a water taxi. He's been replaced by motorboats, which wouldn't be nearly as much fun.



Speaking of swimming elephants, Ricky Gervais talks about elephants "caught swimming" in the ocean:



A hotel was built on this elephant herd's migration path, but that doesn't stop them:



The article "A Mother's Determination: Elephant Rescues Baby Trapped in Mud" has amazing photos of an elephant freeing her calf from a mud hole.

And here's an article with pictures of an elephant funeral procession, not for another elephant but for the human known as "The Elephant Whisperer."

Enjoy your Elephant Day, but don't overdo the peanuts!

That's What (S)he said: Weekly Round-Up

I didn't get around to posting a weekly round-up last weekend, because I was out doing some awesome things. In real life! Away from the computer! I know, it's weird. I thought my skin would burst into flames from the shock of the sunlight hitting it.

I was hanging out with this little guy:



And on Saturday I went to the Brazos Writers workshop on "The Art and Science of Investigation." How often have you been at a workshop and said, "No, keep talking! Lunch will wait!" Never, right? Four speakers, and I could've listened to each one all day long. Do forensic entomologists have groupies? 'Cause that might be my new hobby. And I was inspired to try my hand at forensic artistry in the creation of the shot-up nutria picture shown in my invasive species post. (It would be inappropriate to show his "morgue photo," you know.) Seriously, I think I missed my calling.

Back in computerland, here are some favorite things from this week:

Bookavore posted a fabulous five-part series about organization for the disorganized-- really simple, easy-to-follow stuff. Here's part one about how the plan got started, and you'll want to follow through with the whole series. It's helped me a lot already, and my brain is made of hamsters running on those squeaky metal wheels, so it's hard for me to keep track of stuff. I'll do a post next week about things that have helped me be better organized. (And yes, that task is on my list!)

For some great advice about how to promote yourself without being an annoying jerk, see these posts by Nathan Bransford and Livia Blackburne.

Need some motivation to get off the couch and start exercising? How about adding zombies to your run?

This is the largest audience these musicians have had. Who cares that they're cows, just look at how rapt with attention they are:

But is there anything cuter than an orphaned baby elephant wearing a raincoat?

Speaking of elephants, here's an update on my Elephants: The New Vampires post. Look what was waiting on my front porch for me when I got home from work on Tuesday, from Susan The Lovely Assistant Editor:

Isn't it pretty? It's such a fun read, too. How can you not love a book about a boy who's raised by an elephant?

And I saw a newly-released elephant picture book I didn't know about before:

Wendy Henrichs' WHEN ANJU LOVED BEING AN ELEPHANT (Sleeping Bear Press) is about an elephant who's taken from the wild in Sumatra and sold to a circus, then a zoo. Now she's riding on a truck to someplace new, after fifty years of captivity. And I love the name-- CHAINED has a backstory about a circus elephant named Anju!

Writerly types, be sure stop by the Read For Relief auction if you haven't yet. Lots of items like critiques from authors, editors, and agents, signed books, and other fun things up for bid to benefit The Red Cross. Bidding on items posted on Friday will end Sunday, and new items will be announced on Monday.

Have a great week, everyone!

Invasive Animals That Most Deserve a Punch In the Face

Last week I wrote a little about a new law to help deal with the feral hog problem in Texas. But there are plenty of other invasive species running around like unruly leash kids who've broken free of their harnesses. Here are just a few that are especially annoying:

1. Nutria
Nutria are huge rodents from South America that have invaded wetlands in the U.S. and eaten all the plants in sight.

Here's what a nutria looks like, in case you haven't had the pleasure of meeting one:

Hey, you gonna eat that?

With their voracious appetites, rat-like tails, and sharp Cheetos-like teeth, they're like beavers, only hideous-looking and jobless.

One day my brother Mike and his family came home to see their dog in a fight with a nutria. They tried to pull their dog away, but the nutria kept running after it again. They hadn't seen one before and didn't know what it was, but my nephew Luke said, "Hey, that's a nutria! It's an invasive species from South America!" Then he ran and got his science textbook to show his parents a picture. My brother had a less academic approach--he ran to his car, drove up to the canine/giant rodent smackdown, "took steady aim at the teeth that shone like beacons of evil, or Cheetos," and shot the nutria twice in the head. (Do not try this at home. Unless you're a really, really good shot.) He didn't get a picture, because it was "shot in the head and kinda bug-eyed lookin' when it was all over," but here's a crappy artist's* rendering:

It's just a flesh wound! Get back here! I'll bite your leg off!

So in this case, the animal did get a punch in the face, but it was with a couple of .40 caliber bullets instead of a fist.

*"crappy artist" = me

2. Snakehead fish

Thanks a pantload, Evolution

...and any other fish who eats everything in a lake, then gets out and walks to another lake to eat everything over there. Look, you guys need to slow it down a bit. If there's nothing good in the fridge, I don't run around pillaging my neighbor's kitchens. They hate that. I know someone released you in a strange lake, but just hang out, pace yourself, and stay in the water like the fish you're supposed to be. Yeah, we're impressed--you can walk. Very cool. Now give it a rest and quit showing off.

3. The brown tree snake of Guam


This is a snake that probably hitched a ride on a plane from Australia back in the 1940s, on a flight that unfortunately didn't have Samuel L. Jackson as a passenger.

About every three days there's a power outage somewhere on Guam, caused by snakes who thought it might be fun to play with electrical wires. Thankfully they aren't highly venomous, but their bites do cause a lot of ER visits.

Before the brown tree snake barged in, the only other snake on Guam was the blind snake. You know what it eats? Termites. Which makes the blind snake really cool.

Not so cool: ridding the island of birds and small mammals. The birds of Guam weren't used to predators, so didn't know they should fly away from something with sharp teeth opening its mouth
to eat them. They were just sitting there, minding their own business on a branch next to the newly-arrived brown tree snake, saying, "Oh, hi, I don't think we've met. Um, why am I in your mouth?" You'd think the next birds would've flown away then, but no, they just looked into the snake's mouth going, "Hey, where'd our friend go? Can we play?"

And I get it--when you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet, you want to get your money's worth. But you know what happens when you eat all the birds, Brownie? ALL THE BIRDS ARE EATEN. Kind of screwed yourself over there, didn't you? Enjoy the lizards, jerk.

I don't need to put in a disclaimer, do I? Then again, we need warnings on lawn mowers so people will know not to trim their hedges with them. Sigh. Okay, then.

People: It's not the animals' fault that they're in the wrong place. They're just doing what they know, after being plunked in a ridiculously inconvenient place. DO NOT GO AROUND PUNCHING ANIMALS IN THE FACE. It's not nice, and some of them are bitey.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see what my neighbors have in the pantry. I've run out of Cheetos.

Can't Decide Whether to Noodle or Rent a Hog-Huntin' Helicopter

Some interesting new laws came into effect in Texas last week.

People are always complaining that the government should cut out the pork. Now you can help, thanks to a new law that makes it legal to hunt feral hogs from a helicopter.

www.HuntingHog.com

Wait just a minute, Antsy McGee. I know what you're thinking: "I've got a case of Budweiser, an AK-47, and a rented helicopter. What could go wrong?"

You're right, I can't think of anything either. But for the sake of All That Should Remain Unholey, be extra cautious and take the aerial hunting safety course first.

There's a reason there aren't many regulations on feral hog hunting--they're a highly adaptable invasive species that eats anything they can get their hooves on and leaves behind a giant mess wherever they go. (You know someone like this, I'm sure of it. Don't look at them right now, they'll know we're talking about them. Just keep looking at the computer.)

Now, imagine if they produced thirty offspring a year just like them. Feral hogs have up to twelve piglets per litter. I know, it sounds adorable, but they do a lot of damage.

I'm here to destroy you

Feral hogs have been a problem for a long time, and they do hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of damage every year, like by tearing up land and devouring crops. They've even destroyed golf courses.

That does it, Wilbur. You've gone to far.

Don't look at me like that. You know what you've done.

That's better. Not so cute now, are you?

Watch for more headlines containing the phrases "Hog Wild," "Bringing Home the Bacon," and "Aporkalypse Now."

And I know you'll be thrilled to find out that noodling is now legal. Didn't know it was illegal before? Or do you have no idea what noodling is? It's fishing. But you're the fishing pole. The bait too, come to think of it.



Yes, you shove your hand (or foot) into a catfish's mouth and hope that it bites you. I can't wait to get started. I don't even like catfish that much, I just want to see the look of horror from the manicurist when I go into the salon.

Speaking of poles, there's a new "Pole Tax." Yes, "pole." Strip clubs that serve alcohol are assessed a fee of $5 per customer to help fund sex offender prevention programs. Actually, the charge has been around for a couple years, but the money's been sitting there like a big tease that the state can't touch, because of a lawsuit from club owners who complain that the tax suppresses their right to free speech.

Not true, says the Texas Supreme Court. In delivering the unanimous decision of the court, Justice Nathan Hecht stated that, "The fee does not infringe upon a scantily-clad nubile young woman's freedom to speak on any topic of her choosing in front of an audience of sweaty patrons reeking of alcohol and broken dreams as they delight in her bouncing, writhing, and gyrating...sorry, what was I saying?"

But you know the clubs aren't going to eat that fee, so it'll be passed along to the customer, who will have fewer singles to wave around in the club. This will lead to tearful testimonials about Rick Perry "Literally yanking dollars from the G-strings of strippers," which makes a really funny picture.

I'm really happy about this one--you've seen the people who protest at funerals? I'm not even going to link to them, but the ones who think God is a big Mr. Hatey McCrankypants? No more funeral protests allowed, within three hours before or after the service. I tweeted my approval of the new law and got a reply from the protestors who noticed it:

I feel dirtier than a noodler in a strip club.

That's What (S)he said: Weekly Round-Up

The other day I wrote about several recent and upcoming elephant books for kids. Thankfully, you can never have too many elephant books, and none of them look similar to my own book. But maybe you've had that problem--you had a great idea for a book, then discover that someone else (or a few someone elses) wrote a book a lot like it. Now what? See Jen Nadol's guest post on the Cynsations blog, "Oh No! Someone Used My Idea!"

A trending topic on Twitter that's funny for some reason we can't explain and might have stolen some of my productivity this week is #replacebooktitleswithbacon. Some favorites: Are You There, God? It's Me, Bacon, How Stella Got Her Bacon Back, and Something Bacon This Way Comes.

One thing that keeps me reading a book is wondering how in the world the character is going to make it through his predicament. Are the stakes high enough in your own book? Not until the reader can't see a way out. Kara Lennox has a great article, "Is Your Black Moment Enough?" on Anna DeStefano's blog.

If you're interested in author marketing, be sure to bookmark Kristen Lamb's blog. We authors are really good at networking with each other, but it's harder to reach out to our readers online. "The Secret to Selling Books Part I--Let's Get Sticky", shows how we can better connect with our audience.

Here's a video I just saw today, but I have a feeling it'll go viral. Perfectly captures the emotional stages a writer goes through when writing a novel. I especially love the editing stage:


What happens to an elephant who survives a land mine explosion? If she knows the right people, she gets a giant prosthetic leg! Edited to add: Just saw that there's a documentary being made about the hospital that cares for this elephant and others injured by land mines. Learn more and see the trailer on the Eyes of Thailand website.

In other animal news, how can you not love a girl who punches a bear in the face to save her dog?

Have a fun and safe holiday weekend! Watch out for bears. But if you do see one, you know what to do now.

That's What (S)he said: Weekly Round-Up

It's been a busy couple weeks lately, but yay, copyedits are done! (If you don't know what copyedits are, it's the last round of edits before the manuscript goes to the typesetter, and takes care of all the dots and commas and people without matches lighting torches.) It's an exciting time but also a scary one--it's getting closer to being a real book that people are going to see in real life and read!

Last weekend I went to a write-a-thon at the home of Diane Holmes, where we had workshop presentations by Diane and Lorin Oberweger, then worked on our own stuff in the afternoons. In addition to finishing up the edits, I went to a brainstorming session to figure out the plot of my next midgrade novel; I had a character I like, her family, some things that they're doing, but not one of those pesky "plot" things. I can't believe how helpful the brainstorming session was--within about twenty minutes I had some great ideas about where the story needed to go, and this non-plotter now has a skeleton of a plot to work with. I'll do a post about the brainstorming session next week.

Meanwhile, here are some of my favorite things I saw online this week:

For those of us who wish we were at the annual SCBWI conference in LA, we can follow along on Twitter with the hashtag #LA11scbwi. It's almost as good as being there. Ok, not really, but we have Shark Week.

Check out "You're Kind of a Big Deal" by author C.J. Redwine if you haven't yet--an inspiring post about her rocky road to publication.

Do you want an "editorial" agent, or one who's more hands-off? Agent Jennifer Laughran has a great post comparing literary agents to real estate agents.

Jay Kristoff guests posts on the YA Muses about writing like a girl even if you're not one in 5 Tips On Writing Outside Your Gender. (And if you're interested specifically in male-female dialogue differences, see the "Dude Talks Like a Lady" post I did last year.)

Now for some fun videos. First, there's the beluga whale dancing to mariachi music:



And the New York City construction worker who entertains the crows during his lunch break. How long before this guy gets a recording contract?



Have a great week!

That's What (S)he said: Weekly Round-Up

Hi everyone! Here are a few sharable things I found around the interwebs this week:

This looks like something fun for writers on an agent search: Deana Barnhart is hosting a month-long Get An Agent Blogfest. See the weekly plan and more details here.

I love book trailers, and I'm sure I'll want to make my own when my publication date gets closer. Author Lena Coakely did a helpful two-part post about making a trailer for her novel, WITCHLANDERS. Here's part 1 and part 2.

Speaking of book trailers, author A.C. Gaughen launched her new website this week when she released the trailer for her debut novel SCARLET. It's gorgeous!

Another of my Apocalypsie-sisters, Lenore Appelhans, has donated a 10,000-word critique for a young adult novel to TLC auctions. There's still time to bid till tomorrow evening!

I'm not sure why I've just recently discovered Blake Snyder's Save the Cat!. It's not a new book, but for some reason I keep hearing about it lately. I think it was Nikki Loftin who told me that it's one of those books that makes you say, "Damn, I wish I had this three books ago." It offers do-able plotting for those of us who don't like to plot. I plan to use it to back up and plot out the YA novel I'm revising now, and will use it to plot the next book before I start writing it. I was going to fill in the "Beat Sheet" from the book (showing the different turns in a story) while watching E.T. to help me become more familiar with it, and I thought, "This is hard. I wonder if someone else has done it." Yes, someone has. I was thrilled to find these videos on the Mediajuice Saves the Cat! Blog. They put together video clips from several popular movies, indicating each beat along the way. Here's a post from another fan who doesn't like to plot--Charissa Weaks' Favorite Post Friday about Save the Cat!.

I just got onto Google+, but like most people on it, I'm still kind of flailing around not knowing what to do with it yet. Here's a post with some great tips by Debbie Ridpath Ohi (who somehow has it figured out already) about why she's loving Google+.

This week's book recommendation: THE REVENANT by Sonia Gensler, a young adult historical fiction with a ghost story that will keep you turning the pages.

And these friends are adorable, but I can't decide whether this bird is really brave or really dumb.



Have a great week!