Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Author's Wardrobe, For Real

A couple weeks ago, there was a picture making the rounds on Twitter--a page from Elle magazine showing a wardrobe for "The Novelist." Here is is if you missed it:

See the original tweet here

I couldn't stop laughing.

Here are some closer shots, in case you need to get your pen and shopping list:


I just don't know how I get anything done without that key item, the long-sleeved silk blouse.

Just for fun, let's see what all this would cost...

$7,057. Not including the pants, since those are listed as "price on request" from Lacoste. So I'm sure they're reasonable. Sometimes I see items I want to buy and can't find the price, but then someone in a red shirt and khakis scans it for me. There, price on request.

And speaking of pants, since when are pants among the "Wardrobe Musts" for a writer?

Since I don't know any writer willing to hand over that big o' chunk of her advance for an outfit, I thought it would be fun to ask some author friends to show me what they actually wear when writing. (If you want to keep up the illusion that we all dress like the Elle model, you'll want to turn away now).

First up is Kristin Rae, modeling the timeless "Lumberjack Maternity Chic:"


Behind the silk shirts in Jennifer Mathieu's closet is a wide array of t-shirts:

I'm not saying Jennifer isn't wearing pants, but I'm not saying she is, either

Most of the replies to the original tweet were along the lines of "Where are the pajama pants?" Here they are, modeled by Kari Anne Holt and Samantha Clark:

Wearing a t-shirt from high school redefines "timeless."



Deadlines call for a more formal look, so Jo Whittemore adds a blanket to the pajamas:


Shelli Cornelison reminds us not to forget the yoga pants. But if you forget to do laundry for a few weeks, feel free to raid your husband's closet for t-shirts.

Menswear offers a tailored look

Here we see a writer in her natural habitat, a coffee shop. Cory Oakes stays productive in the polar-vortex-like temperatures with her fingerless gloves.


McCormick Templeman asked that this photo of Susan Sontag in a teddy bear suit be her model stand-in, since she's pretty sure she could write the Great American Novel if only she had a teddy bear suit. I don't think any of us can argue with that logic.

Here's a glimpse of the wardrobe of a gothic Victorian novelist, courtesy of Leanna Renee Hieber. Note that the middle shelf is full of corsets.

A few more corsets that the author average of zero.

Shannon Messenger won't be caught writing without this season's must-have accessory, the house cat:

A large bathrobe and fuzzy slippers complete the ensemble

Not to be outdone are Lenore Appelhans and Emily Hainsworth, effortlessly pulling off the "Covered by cat while writing" look:

Typewriter shirt from Modcloth, priced less than one Guess sandal


And let's not forget the dogs. (Because teeth marks are never in style). Doris Fisher often writes while wearing Princess Puppy, pictured here in her wardrobe of yarn:


Here's Colleen Conrad, staying fashionably productive in a swimsuit coverup and a dog:


This is usually what happens when I try to write from the comfort of my couch, because Holly knows that looking good is more important than being able to type:

Move, human, you're ruining my selfie

I was so impressed by all the writerly wardrobe photos, but I am surprised at the lack of Snuggies. Now that's the long-sleeved must-have. You can even get the electric version.

Just one of the collection

Not pictured are coffee, chocolate, and wine stains, but those accessories can be added easily. Prices upon request at the nearest gas station.

26 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! I could totally see Corm in a teddy bear suit! ;) We still have some warm weather happening, so you can catch us Aussies in a tank top and boxer shorts. :P

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    1. Oh yes, that makes a lovely writer uniform too!

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  2. Love this -- great to see so many writers in their natural habitat (since we all know that book signings and launches are not natural to most of us, yet those are the photos we see!).

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    1. Right, it's like Wild Kingdom, writer episode!

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  3. This is a fantastic resource. I have so many new wardrobe ideas now! :)

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    1. Yes, time to shop! Or, you know, scrounge. And thanks for modeling, Kristin!

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    1. Don't, you'll ruin your Lacoste pants!

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  5. Love this! Makes me feel better about my hoodie and fluffy slippers look--but I must get one of those teddy bear suits!

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    1. Right, the teddy bear suit should be in every writer's closet!

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  6. Laughing out loud, rolling on the floor in paint splattered yoga pants and a sweatshirt that predates Miley Cyrus. Fuzzy socks. Bra of questionable integrity but I AM wearing one, you know, for when I change into the silk shirt later. Thanks, Lynne, and all your fashionista writer peeps!! xo

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  7. OK, I nominate this post for the best post of the month. Your author friends are not only gorgeous, Lynne, but they know how to accessorize.

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    1. Thank you, Mirka! Quite a fashionable bunch.

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  8. Laughed my butt off!! I need to do one for Bloggers lol.

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  9. Best post ever! Hm..where's the hoodie? That's my writing staple. Or when I write at night, my pjs and glasses.

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    1. THAT'S what we're missing, a hoodie! Can't believe there weren't any among the submissions.

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  10. This is GREAT! Thanks for a more realistic view. $7,000!?! Right. That'll happen.

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    1. We're all going to buy that exact outfit with our next royalty check.

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  11. Ha ha! This is awesome. I wear a zebra Snuggie!

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    1. Wow, a zebra print Snuggie?! Sounds like formal wear.

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  12. I loe this! But I wear a nightie (with a hoodie on cold mornings) until noon when I shower. Am I the only one?

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  13. Love this, too. I wear t-shirts and shorts (it's warm here in Singapore). Coffee mugs are a must. I have to say, the watch in the Elle piece looks really good ...

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  14. LOL I love this. I'm not the only one to work in my slippers it seems. :) The Elle photos was a nice outfit. I'd totally wear something of that style to a convention or conference table, but I would find items that were more reasonably priced. :)

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  15. Hey, where can I get my very own polar vortex fingerless gloves. No way can I start my next WIP without them. Love, LOVE this. Thank you!

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